Thursday, August 12, 2010

Brother Bill

I have an older brother, Bill, who is once again single and dating. He tells me the women these days have changed from when he dated last. They are willing to talk about anything, telling him everything, which sometimes means TMI. He met a woman on a blind date recently and told me she is drop-dead beautiful. They talked for hours and at one point were talking about medical histories, and she volunteered that lately every time she sneezed, she climaxed. When Bill asked what she was taking for it, she told him, "Pepper!"

Bill is trying to start a career as a stand up comic. Now, he's pretty funny, but still thinks he has a lot to learn. He visits different comedy clubs within driving distance of his house, and they know him well enough to allow him on their stages--that's how funny he is.

Bill says that other comics are very funny and are surprisingly open to sharing tips about comedy, how to do it information, and even jokes. He met a comic named Eddie Howl recently, and told me Eddie is the funniest person he has ever met. They got to talking one night, and Eddie told Bill that he and others know so many jokes, that they have memorized the best ones and given each one a number. The idea is, they don't have to tell the whole joke when they are with each other, all they have to do is call out the number of the joke.

Well Bill had to try it, so Eddie gave him a book in which he had written his favorite funny jokes and the numbers that comics had assigned to them. Bill took several weeks to memorize the first 30 jokes in the book, and practiced them a lot at home. Last week, Eddie, Bill and some other comics were having some beers at a local bar after they had been on stage at a comedy club. The comics started telling jokes by the number, and they were all having a great time, so Bill got up his courage and called out his favorite, "22!" No one in the place laughed. That upset Bill a bit, but he decided to tell another one. "18!" he called out. Still no laughs from the other comics. Bill was almost in tears and asked Eddie why they didn't laugh, and Eddie told him, "You didn't tell them right."

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