Substitutions

Ever notice the words people substitute in place of the word, “yes”? Absolutely!

“Do you want some grated cheese on that?”

“Absolutely!”

“You seem a bit down today.”

“Absolutely.”

“It really pisses me off to see the price of gas go over $3.00 a gallon!”

“Absolutely.”

The other yes replacement word is exactly.

“So, after you add sugar, you stir until the mixture thickens?”

“Exactly.”

“Your mother is so fat, when she sits on a quarter, she gets change.”

“Exactly.”

“Is the paper shredder broken again?”

“Exactly.”

“Boy, we sure whipped the pants off of the Cards last night.”

“Absolutely.”

Wouldn’t it be so much easier to say, “Yes” or “Uh huh” instead of changing the response to “Exactly” or “Absolutely”?

And while I am at it, where did the words, “You’re Welcome” go. Now, if you thank someone for something, the response is often, “No problem.” I don’t thank someone because I think I caused a problem. I thank people because it is polite. The “no problem” response strikes me as though the person thinks he is doing me an exceptional favor to do his job and serve me. “Thank you for waiting on me.” “No problem. Well, actually it was, because I was hung over from the party last night.”

No problem? Get over yourself. Absolutely.