My Name is Doctor

“My name is Doctor Charles McSpleen.” I heard it on a radio commercial again today. “My name is Doctor Charles McSpleen. I work at Fixemup Hospital, where we provide the best patient care, because we have the best staff.”

I wanted to yell at the radio, “Your first name is not Doctor, it is Charles, unless you have legally changed it! You are Doctor Charles McSpleen, but your first name is not Doctor!” What is it with doctors? They seem to be the main ones doing the first name is their profession bit. Occasionally, a priest or other minister might say, “My name is Father John Reverent,” but even that is rare.

What if the rest of us used our profession as our first name? We would end up with radio and television commercials like, “My name is Auto Dealer John Bargain.” The possibilities are endless. “My name is Nurse Ima Caring.” “My name is Laborer Hardy Work.” “My name is Zookeeper Monk Business.” “My name is Attorney Will Suem.”

The business of using occupations as names came into common usage hundreds of years ago with last names like, Smith, Miller, Foreman, Potter, Saylor, Driver, and Weaver. There are also families with the last name of Doctor. If someone in the Doctor family became a doctor and did a radio commercial, think how foolish it would sound if she said, “My name is Doctor Wendy Doctor.” Come to think of it, it already sounds foolish.