Things

Things I Do Not Plan To Do Today
1. Get head lice.
2. Race fleas in a shoe box. This one reminds me of a story I wrote once about having a pet flea named Itchy. In the story, Itchy lived in a matchbox in my pocket. He had once performed acrobatics in a flea circus, but had to retire when a needle fell on one leg. He then had an artificial leg made from a splinter, but that was eaten by a termite. I guess that made him accident prone. Itchy then had an artificial leg made from a synthetic fiber, which made it the first Permanent Press leg in the world.

Itchy eventually married a female flea named Kitchy and they had a baby flea named Koo, which was another accident. Itchy and his family rejoined the flea circus and called their act Itchy, Kitchy, Koo. It was not a real popular act with adults, but kids loved it.

More things:
3. Pick a scab.
4. Ride a bull in a rodeo.
5. Check to see if I was adopted.