More Bad Ideas For Greeting Cards

You're too fat.
How about that!
......................
Sorry to hear your cat got run over by a car.
Let it dry out in the sun and you can use it for a frisbee!
............................................................
Sorry to hear you lost your job,
And your unemployment insurance ran out.
Have you considered suicide?
.............................
So your dog has worms.
Now you can take him fishing.
...............................
Get well soon,
So you can help me move to a new apartment.
............................................
To the graduate.
Cannot find a job?
The armed forces are hiring.